Eric
“Don’t fuck with the Don,” Walter stopped me outside the restaurant, adding to the list of things I wasn’t supposed to do with the Don.
“Why is he called the Don anyway,” I asked, “I thought he was Greek”. Emblazoned in blue ceramic above the entrance was a sign – Theo’s.
“Don’t question it, Eric” Walter pinched his forehead, “If you want your shoe shop, then just shut up and flatter him for five minutes, will you?” He flung his arms towards the entrance like a matador, waiting for my charge.
“Hold on,” I replied, “So do I shut up, or do I flatter”
“Oh we’re so fucked” Walter flung open the door, and we stepped through a curtain of sizzling lamb and the tickling song of lyres. In the corner, an old man picked at a bowl of olives, flanked by tall men as still as ancient statues.
“Yassas, Don Theo, Yassas” Walter bowed and shook the Don’s hands.
“Yes yes, Don Theo, yes” I followed suit. The Don’s hands reminded me of petting a python at the zoo. He slowly shed his eyelids and gazed at me.
“So,” he began in a low growl, “You like shoes”. He should drink some water.
“Only the ones with soles,” I replied, noticing Walter wince. Don’t make jokes with the Don.
“My nephew wants to open one too. You can’t open here,” the Don chewed his olive, letting the pip slowly dribble into his palm. Walter shook his head and gestured at the exit.
“Well my council permit says differently,” I snapped back. Walter facepalmed as the Don waved. The gargoyles came alive and stalked towards me.
“You here to make trouble?” the Don spat.
My mind scrambled for Walter’s advice.
“Look, I am not here to fuck,” I held up my hands, and then pointing at the Don, “Especially not with you”.
***
The Don’s face was the usual beetroot red by the end of the story, as he laughed with the other customers. “Especially not with you!” he repeated.
He got up from his chair and took the first steps in his new shoes like a foal. “Marvelous!”
“I could’ve killed you that day,” he chuckled, patting me on the shoulder as he left, “Yassou, Eric, Yassou”.
“Yes who, Don,” I waved, nodding blankly, “Yes who”.
